By Ejaz Saifi – The Freedom Formula
Chapter 1: Jab Sochna Hi Problem Ban Jaye
Kabhi tumne socha hai ki hum kisi cheez ya insaan ke baare mein itna kyun sochne lagte hain? Aur phir ek waqt aata hai jab apne hi thoughts se pareshaan ho jaate hain. Jaise ek loop ho, jisme tum ghoomte hi rehte ho… aur bahar nikalne ka raasta nazar hi nahi aata.
Meri kahani bhi kuch aisi hi thi.
Jab maine emotions par kaam karna shuru kiya tha, tab mujhe laga tha ki feelings ka matlab sirf dard hota hai, pyaar hota hai, ya loss hota hai. Bas itna hi. Lekin jaise-jaise maine apne mind ko observe kiya, mujhe samajh aaya ki kuch cheezein emotions ke layer se bhi aage hoti hain.
Jaise… kisi insaan ke baare mein baar-baar sochna, bina kisi clear wajah ke. Ya phir sexual urges, drinking jaisi cheezein — jinhe hum “desires” bolte hain. Yeh sirf emotions nahi hote. Yeh habits hain, brain wiring ka hissa hain, aur ek dopamine loop ka result hain.
Pehla Kadam: Yeh Urge Hai Ya Real Connection?
Mujhe sabse pehle yeh samajhna pada ki har baar kisi ke baare mein sochna, ya kisi cheez ki craving hona — iska matlab zaroori nahi ki woh insaan ya cheez tumhare liye important hai.
Ho sakta hai tumhara mind bas reward dhoond raha ho.
Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin — yeh sab chemicals release hote hain jab tum us insaan ka naam sunte ho, ya yaad karte ho. Aur tumhe ek feeling milti hai. Ek temporary high. Lekin kya yeh real hai? Ya sirf ek chemical reaction?
Maine apne aap se yeh sawaal poochha. Baar baar.
Aur jab maine honestly answer dhundha, tab mujhe samajh aaya — main emotions ke peeche nahi, us feeling ke peeche bhaag raha tha jo woh emotions mujhe dete the.
Doosra Kadam: Pattern Samjho, Situation Nahi
Apne routine ko dekho. Ek honest self-analysis karo.
Kya tum bored hote ho tab uske baare mein sochte ho? Ya jab lonely feel karte ho? Ya jab tumhara confidence low hota hai?
Maine notice kiya ki jab bhi main khaali hota tha, ya jab koi kaam dhang se nahi ho raha hota tha, tab automatically mere dimaag mein kuch specific thoughts aane lagte the. Kuch specific log yaad aane lagte the.
Yeh mere emotions nahi the. Yeh pattern tha.
Agar tum pattern samajh jaoge, toh tumhe samajh aayega ki tumhara dimaag actual insaan ke peeche nahi, us emotion ke peeche bhaag raha hai jo tumhe feel hota hai uske saath.
Aur jab yeh clarity aayi, tab mujhe pata chala — main situation se nahi, apne pattern se lad raha tha.
Teesra Kadam: Replace Karo, Repress Mat Karo
Yeh sabse important step hai. Aur sabse difficult bhi.
Jo log bas “control karne” ki sochte hain, woh aksar fail ho jaate hain. Kyunki suppress karna temporary solution hai. Tumhare andar woh urge build hoti rehti hai, aur ek din… blast ho jaati hai.
Lekin jo us urge ko replace karna seekh lete hain — woh nikal jaate hain us loop se.
Jaise, jab tumhare mind mein strong urge aaye kisi cheez ki, toh tumhara focus kisi aur “high engagement” activity mein le jao — workout, cold shower, intense writing session, ya kisi creative kaam mein.
Mind ko nasha chahiye hota hai.
Tumhe bas decide karna hai ki kaun sa nasha doge: growth ka ya destruction ka.
Maine apne liye yeh rule bana liya tha — jab bhi koi urge aaye, main 10 pushups karunga. Ya ek page likhne baithunga. Ya paani se face wash karunga.
Chhoti cheez lagti hai, lekin ye chhoti cheezein hi loop break karti hain.
Chautha Kadam: Emotional Fasting Karo
Jaise hum food fast karte hain, waise hi mind ko bhi break chahiye hota hai.
Ek ya do din apne phone se, ya kisi particular cheez se break le lo — sirf apne upar focus karo. Apna mind tumse baatein karega. Aur tumhe bataega ki tum kis level par ho emotionally.
Tab tum decide kar paoge ki yeh sab tumhara control hai, ya tum kisi aur ke control mein ho.
Maine yeh experiment kiya tha. Maine do din tak apna phone side par rakha. Social media bilkul nahi khola. Messages check nahi kiye.
Pehle din — anxiety thi. Feeling thi ki kuch miss ho raha hai.
Doosre din — shanti thi. Clarity thi. Aur ek powerful realization: Main kisi ko miss nahi kar raha tha. Main sirf us validation ko miss kar raha tha jo phone se milti thi.
Chapter 2: Loop Se Bahar — Jab Har Cheez Ka Ek Hi Solution Chahiye Tha
Jab tum apne emotions pe kaam karte ho, toh shuruaat mein ek illusion banta hai — lagta hai ki har problem ka apna alag solution hoga.
Ek waqt aata hai jab tum confuse ho jaate ho ki ab kya sahi hai? Kya mujhe is baare mein soche bina kaam karna chahiye? Ya har baar analysis karna zaroori hai?
Main bhi usi phase mein tha.
Jab bhi koi decision lena hota, main rukh jaata. Sochta, samajhta, phir sochta… aur phir delay. Aisa lagta tha jaise har baar ek hi loop mein ghus jaata hoon.
Kisi ne kuch kaha, bas dimaag chalne laga —
“Kya iska matlab yeh tha?”
“Kya mujhe react karna chahiye?”
“Main yahan weak toh nahi lagunga?”
Aur yeh sab itna fast hota tha ki kaam toh chhodo, mera time aur energy dono barbaad ho jaate the.
Mujhe Ek Universal Solution Chahiye Tha
Mujhe samajh aaya ki mujhe koi aisa system chahiye jisme mujhe har ek cheez ke baare mein alag se decision na lena pade.
Kuch aisa jo mujhe har emotional ya psychological situation mein same clarity de.
Ek internal guideline. Ek exit model.
Yahin se maine dusri taraf ka experiment start kiya — maine sirf apne mind pe nahi, dusre logo ke reactions pe bhi kaam karna start kiya.
Maine socha: agar main kisi insaan ko bina usse directly control kiye, uski soch ya reaction badal sakta hoon… toh shayad wahi real control hai. Wahi power hai jo logon ke influence mein chhupi hoti hai.
Phir maine focus shift kiya. Maine khud se yeh sawaal poochhe:
- Kaise kisi insaan ke mann mein apni jagah banayi jaati hai?
- Kaise bina impress kiye, samne wala impressed ho jaata hai?
- Kaise apni baat ki value itni badhayi ja sakti hai ki log khud notice karein?
Aur main yahan kisi manipulation ki baat nahi kar raha. Main baat kar raha hoon natural influence ki.
Woh influence jo tumhare nature se hota hai, tumhare thought process se hota hai, tumhare presence se hota hai — bina kisi dikhawa ke.
Yeh samajhne ke liye mujhe apna nature modify karna pada. Situations mein khud ko daalna pada. Logon ke beech rehkar dekhna pada ki main kahaan khada hoon.
Tab jaake mujhe clarity aayi —
Power ka matlab sab pe haavi hona nahi hai, balki itna self-aware ho jaana hai ki tum khud par haavi na ho.
Aur jab tum khud par haavi nahi hote, tab duniya par asar chhodte ho — bina effort ke.
Chapter 3: Khud Par Kaam — Observation Se Transformation Tak
Sabse pehle maine samjha ki agar mujhe ek stable mindset banana hai — jisme mujhe life ke har decision mein clarity mile, jisme har phase mein main grounded rahoon — toh mujhe logo ko deeply samajhna padega. Kyunki har emotion, har reaction, har thought — kisi na kisi connection se chhupa hota hai.
Lekin yeh sirf dusron ko samajhne ka game nahi tha. Mujhe apne aap ko bhi samajhna tha.
Kyunki jab tak main apni limitations, apne loop, apne fear aur apne overthinking ke patterns ko nahi dekhunga… tab tak main stable nahi ban sakta.
Shuruaat Hui Observe Se
Maine notice kiya ki main kis baat par hurt hota hoon. Kis baat par overreact karta hoon. Kis situation mein uncomfortable feel karta hoon.
Roz ke chhoti chhoti situations mein reaction observe karna start kiya. Apne thought pattern ko decode kiya.
Jab bhi gussa aaya, ya kuch galat laga, ya temptation hua — main us moment ko pause karne laga.
Phir maine apne reactions ko breakdown kiya, aur use logic se samjha.
Clarity Aane Lagi
Jaise jaise maine yeh practice karna start kiya, mera mind calm hone laga.
Koi distraction nahi. Koi unnecessary thought nahi. Bas ek clarity — ki jo ho raha hai, use main handle kar sakta hoon.
Slowly, maine apne mind ko silence mein train kiya.
Us silence mein mujhe samajh aaya ki main kitna bekaar sochta tha, aur kitna unnecessary react karta tha.
Nature Ko Shape Karna
Aur isi calmness ko maintain rakhne ke liye maine apna nature badla.
- Loud nahi — silent
- Prove karne wala nahi — perform karne wala
- React karne wala nahi — respond karne wala
Maine apne aap ko waisa bana liya ki main har situation mein “by nature” stable feel karu.
Koi aggressive ho ya emotional, main har tareeke se deal kar saku — bina apne zone se bahar nikle.
Phir maine dekha — meri baatein badal gayi hain. Meri energy calm ho gayi hai. Aur mere decisions bhi smarter hone lage hain.
Aur sabse khaas baat — mujhe andar se peace feel hone laga.
Chapter 4: Logo Ko Samajhna — Emotional Intelligence Ka Real Game
Ek point par aake main atak gaya tha. Har decision lene mein time lagta tha. Main overthink karta tha — “Kya sahi hoga?” “Kya yeh best hai?” “Kya yeh meri growth ke liye risk hai ya reward?”
Yeh sab sochne mein mera bahut time waste hota tha… aur main loop mein chala jaata tha.
Mujhe ek aise solution ki talash thi jo mujhe baar-baar har cheez ke liye alag se sochna na pade.
Main ek common key dhoond raha tha — jo har door khol sake, har phase mein kaam aaye, har situation mein clarity de.
Key Dusron Ke Behaviour Mein Chhupi Thi
Aur phir mujhe samajh aaya — yeh key sirf mere paas nahi, dusron ke behaviour mein bhi chhupi hai.
Isiliye maine dusre logo ko observe karna start kiya:
- Kaun kis tareeke se sochta hai?
- Kaun kis tareeke se react karta hai?
- Kaun kab weak padta hai?
- Kaun kab vulnerable hota hai?
Aur sabse important: Kaise bina kuch kahe, bina dominate kiye, kisi ke emotions ko handle kiya ja sakta hai?
Maine logon ke behavior ka analysis karna start kiya — nafrat ke bina, judge kiye bina. Sirf samajhne ke liye.
Value Apne Aap Build Hone Lagi
Mujhe ek aur cheez samajh aayi — log tumse tab tak influenced hote hain, jab tak tum khud apni value samajhte ho — bina dikhaye, bina prove kiye.
Toh maine apni value pe kaam karna start kiya — silently.
- Na kisi se approval chahiye
- Na kisi ko impress karna hai
- Bas apne actions se impact karna hai — bina bataaye ki maine kya kiya
Mera purpose simple tha:
- Logo ko samajhna
- Unki needs ko feel karna
- Unke emotional patterns ko decode karna
- Aur phir apne nature mein unka solution fit kar dena — bina unhe realize karwaye
Yaha se maine emotional intelligence ka real meaning samjha.
Aaj main kisi ke saamne hota hoon, toh mujhe unka mood samajh aata hai. Unke words ke peeche ke meanings dikhte hain. Aur main apna reaction unke hisaab se tune karta hoon — lekin control mera hota hai.
Result? Meri value har jagah automatically build hone lagi. Log mujhe sunne lage. Log mujhse guide maangne lage. Log mujhse emotionally attach hone lage — bina maine unse kuch kaha ho.
Chapter 5: Silent Control — Bina Kahe Bhi Asar Chodna
Log aksar sochte hain ki value banani ho toh loud banna padega. Sabko impress karna padega. Ya har jagah active dikhna padega.
Lekin jo maine seekha, woh iska exact opposite tha.
Maine chhup rehkar kaam kiya — bina bataye, bina highlight kiye — aur log khud notice karne lage.
Main Chhupa Nahi, Maine Sirf Unnecessary Exposure Se Bacha
Jab har kisi ko tumhare har kaam ka detail milta hai, toh tum ordinary lagne lagte ho.
Lekin jab tum observe karte ho, feel karte ho, aur response dete ho bina react kiye, toh tumhara weight badhta hai.
Mujhe pata tha ki agar mujhe control chahiye, toh sabse pehle mujhe chhup kar samajhna hoga ki kaun kya soch raha hai.
Kisi ka tone badla? Uske words change hue? Uska body language?
Sab kuch data tha — bas mujhe feel karna tha.
Control Ka Real Matlab
Control ka matlab hota hai kisi ko force karna nahi, balki kisi situation mein bina kuch kahe decision apne favour mein lana.
Jab maine yeh cheezein practice karna start ki, toh maine ek routine bana liya:
Pehla Rule: Koi bhi decision lene se pehle 10 second ka pause. Har reaction ka weight samjho.
Doosra Rule: Samne wale se zyada suno, kam bolo. Lekin jab bolo, toh impactful bolo.
Teesra Rule: Jab log tumse kuch umeed karein, toh usse pehle unke dimaag mein tumhare baare mein jo image hai, use samjho. Phir kaam karo.
Yeh sab karte hue, maine logo se kuch nahi kaha — bas unke behaviour ke according kaam kiya.
Aur jab logo ne mujhe seriously lena start kiya, meri baaton ki value badhne lagi.
Kabhi kisi ko directly guide kiya. Kabhi sirf presence se influence kiya.
Log bolne lage, “Tu jo kehta hai woh sahi hota hai.”
Aur main andar se kehta: Maine toh sirf samjha hai, tumhe nahi bataya.
Yeh Hoti Hai Silent Control
Woh control jisme samne wala yeh bhi nahi samajh pata ki tumne uska decision ya emotion badal diya.
Is process mein mujhe yeh bhi samajh aaya ki control karne ke liye tumhe influence dikhani nahi padti — bas itna zaroori hota hai ki tum apne presence mein itna clarity laa sako ki samne wale ko tumhari energy mehsoos ho.
Chapter 6: Exit Model — Kab Chhodna Hai, Kaise Chhodna Hai
Jab maine logon ke behaviour ko deeply samajhna start kiya, toh mujhe yeh samajhne mein bhi interest hua ki kab aur kaise kisi insaan ki life se nikalna chahiye… aur kis tarah kisi ko apne saath lifetime ke liye rakha ja sakta hai.
Har insaan ki life mein aise log aate hain jo temporary hote hain — kuch sikha ke chale jaate hain.
Aur kuch log hote hain jo permanent hote hain — jinke saath connection real hota hai, aur jinko chhodna galti hoti hai.
Mujhe Chahiye Tha Ek System
Ek “Exit Model” jo mujhe yeh decide karne mein help kare ki kab kisi se alag hona hai aur kis tarah alag hona hai — bina kisi ko hurt kiye. Bina guilt ke. Bina emotional baggage ke.
Maine ek exit model banaya — Silently Graceful Exit ka.
Is model ke 3 parts the:
1. Observation Phase
Main insaan ko observe karta tha — kya woh mujhe genuinely samajhta hai, kya uska connection real hai ya sirf need-based hai.
Main judge nahi karta, bas analyse karta.
2. De-Attachment Phase
Jab mujhe lagta ki ab mujhe us insaan se emotionally detach hona chahiye, main us connection ko slow down karta.
Baat cheet kam. Emotional sharing almost zero. Aur availability limited.
Bina bole, insaan khud mehsoos kar leta tha ki connection fade ho raha hai.
3. Exit Without Explanation
Agar insaan intelligent hota, toh woh samajh jata.
Aur agar woh nahi samajhta, toh main zyada explanation deta bhi nahi.
Kyunki jo mujhe deeply janta hai, usse kabhi reason batana nahi padta. Aur jo nahi janta, usse reason batane ka fayda nahi.
Lifetime Inclusion Model
Aur isi ke parallel maine ek “Lifetime Inclusion Model” bhi banaya.
Us model mein simple rule tha —
Jo log meri soul growth mein help karte hain, jo mujhe judge nahi karte, aur jinke saath main apna real version share kar sakta hoon — unko main consciously apne circle mein rakhta hoon.
Unke liye available rehta hoon. Unke liye loyal aur predictable banta hoon.
Clarity Aur Freedom
Yeh dono models — exit aur inclusion — mujhe emotionally stable banane lage.
Mujhe clarity milne lagi. Mujhe guilt se freedom mil gaya. Aur sabse important — main kisi bhi relation ko samajhne aur handle karne laga.
Mujhe pata chal gaya ki:
- Kab rukna hai aur kab chhodna hai
- Kis ke liye ladna hai aur kis ke liye chhod dena hai
Chapter 7: Final Formula — Do Sawalon Ka System
Jab maine apne emotions aur mindset par kaam karna khatam kiya, toh mujhe ek aur badi clarity mili.
Mujhe pata chal gaya tha ki decision making itni complicated nahi hai jitni main sochta tha.
Main har situation ke liye alag framework bana raha tha. Alag logic laga raha tha. Aur yeh process itna time-consuming tha ki kabhi-kabhi decision lena hi mushkil ho jaata tha.
Universal Filter Ki Zaroorat Thi
Tab mujhe samajh aaya — mujhe ek universal filter chahiye. Ek aisa system jo har decision ko simple bana de.
Aur maine woh system bana liya. Sirf do sawalon ka system:
Sawaal 1: Kya yeh meri growth mein help karega?
Jab bhi koi decision lena ho, pehle yeh poochho — “Kya yeh meri growth mein help karega ya nahi?”
Agar answer “haan” hai, toh aage badho. Agar “nahi” hai, toh distance banao.
Simple. Clear. No confusion.
Sawaal 2: Kya main is decision ke baad apne upar proud feel karunga ya regret?
Doosra sawaal yeh hai — “Kya main is decision ke baad apne upar proud feel karunga ya regret?”
Agar tumhe feel ho raha hai ki tum proud feel karoge, toh woh decision sahi hai. Agar tumhe lag raha hai ki baad mein regret hoga, toh woh decision galat hai.
Bas Itna Hi
Jab yeh 2 sawal har situation mein apply hone lage, toh decision making easy ho gayi.
Confusion gayab. Overthinking close. Loop break.
Aur tab maine jaana — har insaan chahe toh apni life ko engineer kar sakta hai. Bas usse apne emotions, logon ki needs, aur apne core system ko samajhna hoga.
Yeh formula maine apne liye nahi, sabke liye banaya hai. Kyunki main chahta hoon ki jab koi confuse ho, toh woh yeh do sawal apne aap se poochhe aur clarity paaye.
Chapter 8: Jab Mann Truly Aazad Ho Gaya
Ek point aisa aaya jahan maine mehsoos kiya — ab main sirf control seekh nahi raha, main khud ko deeply samajh chuka hoon.
Jo loop tha — jo baar-baar mujhe confuse karta tha, jo mujhe decision lene se rokta tha — woh dheere-dheere dissolve hone laga.
Maine apne mann se baat karni shuru ki. Nafrat nahi ki usse. Usse samjha ki woh mujhe kis baat se bachana chahta hai.
Uska doubt, uska fear, uska overthinking — sab kuch ek signal tha. Signal yeh batane ka ki mujhe aur clearly dekhna hoga.
Aazad Hone Ka Matlab Kya Hai?
Aazad hone ka matlab hai:
- Tumhe har situation mein emotionally react nahi karna padta
- Tum khud decide karte ho kis cheez pe energy deni hai, aur kis pe nahi
- Tum kisi ke presence ya absence se effect nahi hote
- Tum khud mein itne settled hote ho ki duniya ke chaos bhi tumhara balance nahi hila pate
Mujhe feel hone laga — main chahe kisi bhi situation mein ho, main “by nature” wahi insaan hoon jo samne wale ko samajhta hai, apne decisions khud leta hai, aur bina dikhaye — apne peace aur growth dono maintain karta hai.
Aaj jab main apne andar jhaankta hoon, toh mujhe woh noise nahi milta jo pehle hota tha.
Na kisi ka thought mujhe distract karta hai. Na kisi memory ka weight mujhe todta hai.
Mera mann aazad hai.
Aur is aazadi ka matlab yeh nahi ki main sab bhool gaya. Iska matlab yeh hai ki ab main un baaton se influenced nahi hoon.
Main khud ki soch se decisions le sakta hoon — bina kisi regret, bina kisi doubt.
Andar Se Khushi
Mujhe andar se khushi mehsoos hone lagi.
Woh khushi jo kisi aur ne nahi di, na kisi situation ne, balki meri clarity, discipline, aur self-love ne di.
Aur ab main yeh clarity chhodne nahi dunga.
Mera focus simple hai:
- Apne andar ki is freedom ko strong banate rehna
- Aur growth ko natural rakhna — bina stress ke, bina pressure ke
Chapter 9: Mujhe Kyun Farak Padta Hai?
Jab maine apne andar itna bada transformation feel kiya, tab ek sawal baar baar mere mind mein aane laga:
“Kya sirf mere strong hone se sab kuch theek ho jayega?”
Kya yeh kaafi hai ki main emotionally free hoon, jab mere aas paas ke log abhi bhi unhi loops mein phase hue hain, jinse main bahut mushkil se nikla hoon?
Answer Mil Gaya
Aur tab mujhe samajh aaya — mujhe sirf apne liye nahi, duniya ke liye bhi kaam karna hai.
Logo ko us andhere se nikalna hai jahan woh bas sochte rehte hain, decision nahi le paate, khud ko samajh nahi paate, aur har situation mein emotionally break ho jaate hain.
Isliye maine decide kiya ki main apne experiences ko share karunga.
Apne thoughts ko ek article, ek book, ek message banake logo ke dil tak pahunchane ki koshish karunga.
Kyunki mujhe pata hai — main jaise sochta hoon, waise sab nahi soch paate. Lekin agar unko woh nazariya mil jaye jo maine develop kiya hai, toh shayad woh bhi apni zindagi ke asli decisions le sakein.
Main Chahata Hoon Ki Log Samjhein
Main chahata hoon ki log samjhein ki connect hona galat nahi hai, lekin control khona zaroor galat hai.
Har insaan kisi na kisi wajah se kisi cheez se judta hai — chahe woh pyaar ho, sex ho, comfort ho, ya addiction ho — sabke peeche ek emotional need hoti hai.
Aur jab tak woh need samajh nahi aati, tab tak control ka illusion rehta hai.
Main chahata hoon ki log yeh samjhein ki feelings ko suppress karna solution nahi hai — samajhna aur redirect karna real power hai.
Aur main iss cheez ka zinda example banna chahta hoon.
Mera Vision
Main chahta hoon ki log mere experiences se seekhein, aur duniya ko ek naye nazariye se dekhein.
Na ki bas problems ko accept karein, balki unhe decode karke khud ko master karna seekhein.
Taaki kal ko koi ladka ya ladki jab apne emotion se fight kar raha ho, woh mere likhe ek sentence se inspire ho jaye aur apni life ka control le le.
Yeh sirf meri kahani nahi hai. Yeh un sabki kahani hai jo apne andar ka sach dhoondhna chahte hain.
Epilogue: Aazadi Ka Matlab
Aaj jab main apne journey ko dekhta hoon, toh mujhe feel hota hai ki main bahut door aa gaya hoon.
Us ladke se jo har chhoti baat pe react karta tha, har insaan ki baat se hurt hota tha, har decision lene mein ghanton laga deta tha.
Aaj main woh insaan ban gaya hoon jo apne emotions ko samajhta hai, logo ke patterns ko padh leta hai, aur har situation mein apna control maintain karta hai — bina kisi dikhawa ke.
Mera exit model mujhe clarity deta hai. Mera inclusion model mujhe security deta hai.
Mujhe pata hota hai ki kaun sa insaan meri energy deserve karta hai aur kaun sirf time pass kar raha hai.
Ab main kisi bhi connection mein na zyada hopeful hota hoon, na zyada fearful. Main bas aware rehta hoon.
Na mujhe kisi se chipakna hai, na kisi se bhagna hai. Mujhe bas apni journey par focused rehna hai aur apne nature ko is tarah strong banana hai ki chahe koi bhi situation ho — main calm rahoon, composed rahoon, aur apni direction mein grow karta rahoon.
Tumhare Liye Ek Message
Agar tum yeh book yahan tak padh chuke ho, toh mujhe pata hai ki tum bhi kisi emotional loop se gujar rahe ho. Ya phir tumhe bhi apne decisions lene mein confusion hoti hai.
Main tumhe yeh kehna chahta hoon —
Tum akele nahi ho.
Har insaan kisi na kisi phase mein apne emotions se lad raha hota hai. Lekin difference yeh hai ki kuch log control seekh lete hain, aur kuch log us loop mein hi phase rehte hain.
Tumhe decide karna hai ki tum kis category mein aana chahte ho.
Shuruat Karo
Apne emotions ko observe karo. Apne patterns ko samjho. Logo ko dekho — unke behaviour ko feel karo.
Aur phir apne nature ko shape karo. Us tareeke se jiski tumhe zaroorat hai.
Yeh journey easy nahi hai. Par yeh possible hai.
Main zinda proof hoon.
Aur agar main kar sakta hoon, toh tum bhi kar sakte ho.
Bonus Chapter: Practical Steps — Abhi Se Shuru Karo
Agar tumhe yeh sab padh ke laga ki “Yaar, yeh toh sahi hai… par kaise shuru karu?” — toh yeh practical steps tumhare liye hain.
Step 1: Apne Emotions Ko Track Karo (7 Din Ka Challenge)
Agli 7 days tak, har din end mein 10 minutes nikalo aur yeh likho:
- Aaj main kis baat par emotional hua? (gussa, dukh, khushi, anxiety — kuch bhi)
- Kya trigger tha? (koi insaan, koi situation, koi memory)
- Maine kaise react kiya?
- Kya mera reaction justified tha ya overreaction tha?
Bas itna karo. Koi judgment nahi. Sirf observation.
7 din baad tumhe apne patterns dikh jaayenge.
Step 2: 10-Second Pause Rule
Jab bhi koi baat tumhe trigger kare, react karne se pehle 10 second ruko.
Bas 10 second. Saans lo. Socho. Phir respond karo.
Yeh chhoti si cheez tumhare bahut saare unnecessary reactions band kar degi.
Step 3: Logo Ko Silently Observe Karo
Jab tum kisi ke saath baat kar rahe ho, tab sirf unki baaton pe dhyan mat do — unke tone, body language, aur energy pe bhi dhyan do.
Kuch din practice karo. Tumhe samajh aane lagega ki kaun kya feel kar raha hai, bina bole.
Yeh tumhari emotional intelligence badhaega.
Step 4: Do-Sawaal Formula Use Karo
Har decision lene se pehle yeh do sawal apne aap se poochho:
- Kya yeh meri growth mein help karega?
- Kya main is decision ke baad proud feel karunga ya regret?
Agar dono ka answer positive hai, toh karo. Agar nahi, toh mat karo.
Simple.
Step 5: Emotional Fasting — Phone Se Break
Hafte mein ek din apne phone ko side pe rakho. Social media mat kholo. Messages check mat karo.
Bas apne aap ke saath time spend karo.
Yeh tumhe dikhayega ki tum kitna dependent ho apne phone pe, aur kitna tumhara real control hai.
Step 6: Exit Model Practice Karo
Apni life mein dekho — kaun se log tumhe drain kar rahe hain? Kaun se log sirf need-based connect karte hain?
Unse slowly detach karna shuru karo. Baat cheet kam karo. Emotional sharing band karo.
Tumhe guilt feel hoga initially, but trust me — yeh zaruri hai.
Step 7: Inclusion Model Banao
Ab dekho — kaun se log tumhe genuinely support karte hain? Kaun tumhare growth mein help karte hain? Kaun tumhe judge nahi karte?
Un logo ko apni priority banao. Unke liye time nikalo. Unke saath meaningful connections banao.
Yeh log tumhari real wealth hain.
Conclusion: The Freedom Formula
Yeh book maine sirf isliye nahi likhi ki tumhe ek acchi kahani padhaun.
Maine yeh isliye likhi kyunki main chahta hoon ki tum apni kahani khud likho. Apne emotions ka malik bano. Apni zindagi ka direction khud decide karo.
Mujhe pata hai ki yeh sab sunne mein motivational lagta hai. Lekin jab tum actually implement karoge, tab tumhe pata chalega ki yeh kitna powerful hai.
Toh ab tumhare paas do options hain:
Option 1: Is book ko band kar do aur wapas apni purani life mein chale jao — jahan confusion hai, overthinking hai, aur control nahi hai.
Option 2: Ya phir aaj se shuruat karo. Apne emotions ko samjho. Apne patterns ko todo. Aur apne nature ko shape karo.
Choice tumhari hai.
Lekin yaad rakhna —
Har confusion ka ek formula hai.
Har loop ka ek exit hai.
Aur har insaan ke andar woh power hai jo usse aazad bana sakti hai.
Bas zaroorat hai toh sirf ek decision ki.
Aur woh decision tum aaj le sakte ho.
Last Words
Yeh book yahan khatam hoti hai, lekin tumhari journey yahan se shuru hoti hai.
Main tumhe force nahi kar raha ki tum yeh sab karo. Lekin agar tumhe lagta hai ki tumhari zindagi mein kuch change chahiye, agar tumhe lagta hai ki tum apne emotions ka control kho chuke ho, agar tumhe lagta hai ki tum loop mein phase hue ho —
Toh yeh steps try karo.
Sirf ek hafte ke liye.
Bas ek hafte ke liye apne upar experiment karo.
Aur phir khud dekhna — tumhe apne andar kya changes feel hote hain.
Main yahan hoon. Mera kaam yeh nahi hai ki tumhe gyaan doon. Mera kaam yeh hai ki tumhe dikhaaon ki yeh possible hai.
Baaki sab tumhare haath mein hai.
Toh ab tumhari baari hai.
Apne mind ke andar jhaanko. Samjho. Grow karo.
Aur aazad bano.
— Ejaz Saifi
October 2025
Author’s Note
Jab maine yeh book likhni shuru ki thi, tab mujhe nahi pata tha ki yeh journey itni transformative hogi.
Maine sirf apne emotions ko samajhne ki koshish ki thi. Lekin is process mein maine khud ko discover kiya. Apni power ko discover kiya. Aur sabse important — apni aazadi ko discover kiya.
Aaj main jo bhi hoon, woh is journey ka result hoon. Aur main chahta hoon ki tum bhi yeh journey start karo.
Kyunki jab tak tum apne emotions ko samajh nahi lete, tab tak tum apni life ko truly control nahi kar sakte.
Aur jab tak tum control nahi karte, tab tak tum aazad nahi ho.
Yeh book mera gift hai tumhare liye. Mera experience hai tumhare liye. Meri learning hai tumhare liye.
Use wisely. Implement karo. Aur grow karo.
All the best.
— Ejaz Saifi
Special Thanks
Main un sab logo ka shukriya ada karna chahta hoon jinhone mujhe is journey mein support kiya.
Un logo ka jo mere saath khade rahe jab main khud ko samajh raha tha.
Un logo ka jo mujhe judge nahi kiya jab main apne emotions se lad raha tha.
Aur un logo ka jo meri growth mein believe kiya jab main khud doubt kar raha tha.
Tum sab mere lifetime inclusion circle ka hissa ho.
Aur main tumhare liye hamesha available rahunga.
Thank you.
“Mann ko aazad karna mushkil nahi hai,
Bas samajhna zaroori hai ki kaidi kaun hai —
Tumhare emotions ya tumhara dar?”
— Inside My Mind